Let Me do it...

Ni na jaribu = I am trying.

I feel like I'm drowning. I'll admit it, language learning isn't my favorite ministry activity.  I'm not terrible at it theoretically {on paper, when I have time to find the right word, put it in the right tense, and make sure I've got my pronouns straight}. But practically {verbally} I hate trying and messing up and feeling dumb.

Alas, language learning isn't even the biggest issue. The biggest issue right now is that I don't actually have time to devote 9+ hours a week to anything extra.

We have begun sleep training Elizabeth {we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!} but that doesn't erase the sleep debt that has accumulated the past 8 months.  The boys are back in school full-time which is great- but now they come home with full-time homework.  I still have a baby around all day.  And Josh is still actively participating in ministry on campus.  Not to mention all our other duties for WGM Uganda.

I know some things have to shift to the back-burner when you're doing language study.  I just haven't quite decided which of these things can be released... my kids can't. my husband can't. sleep can't. dinner can't.

And then, He comes.  With an outstretched hand, He invites me to roll all this {the schedule, the fear, the to-do list, the expectations, the helplessness} onto His shoulders.  

And my spiritual act of worship is to just let go.  I can simply let Him do all my living, because:

"His divine power has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us..." -II Peter 1:3

In The Ministry of Intercessory Prayer by Andrew Murray there is a powerful discussion of the difference between living under the law and living under grace.  It is setting me free! Stay tuned for a printable when I have time to make it!!

But for now let me leave you with this short quote to whet your appetite:

"Grace undertakes to work our whole life in us, and actually give us the strength every moment for whatever the Father would have us be and do." -Andrew Murray

Linking up at the Grove 

It'll be quiet around the blog, and this blog, facebook and twitter while I focus on Swahili.  You'll still see me on instagram.  Hopefully I'll be back in action in October!  

Settle Your Heart

We are right in the middle of settling in.  One half of our bedroom is {un}settled, and the other half is settled.  We still need a bookshelf made to house all our extra supplies... but there are some surfaces that look exactly the way I want them.  The furniture wish-list is long, but the budget is short.  We have enough to survive, just not everything I want.  

I love setting up our home.  I enjoy the decorating and the organizing.  I like finding just the right spot for everything.  This is our first four-year term, and it's just the beginning.  I have time to make this house just what I want it to be.  But as we settle in there is this {un}settling thought that whispers in the back of my mind:

"You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away... -James 4:14

Ugh.  This world is passing away.  As much as I enjoy making our house a home, this world isn't my home.  

"{They}... confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.  For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.  And truly if they had called to mind the country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return.  But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." -Hebrews 11:13-16 

{by the way if you haven't heard this song by Tenth Avenue North, do yourself a favor and go listen right now! It's on repeat here today}

And so, like Abraham, I must dwell in the land of promise as in a foreign country {thankfully not hard to do when you are actually dwelling in a foreign country}, dwelling in tents... for I am waiting for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.  {Hebrews 11:9-10}

This letter, James, written to the twelve tribes scattered abroad speaks volumes to us global ones scattered around the world. Such sage advice: "Don't get too settled. Your life is merely a vapor, here today, gone tomorrow..." But..."establish {settle} your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand!" {James 5:8}

Settle my heart in Him.  As I settle in here in Uganda, I am so grateful for a forever home in His heart.  I plan on being in Uganda longer than this four-year term, but I can't know that for sure.  All I can do is put down deep heart roots in Him, so I keep thriving wherever He leads me.  And, for now, it is here.

Is there something in your life that just isn't what you wish it was- use it as an exercise in longing for your True Home.  kinda like the past 12 hours without electricity? or the unsafe roads? yeah, getting lots of practice!

**linking up today at velvetashes.com for The Grove**

Are you feeling settled or unsettled lately? 

the key to humility

the power is out. again. we can't use the coffee maker. again. the baby was up every hour. all. night. long. my mini-meatloaves failed. the carrots and zucchini burned. these are the thoughts swirling in my head on Tuesday morning.  we're one month in to our second term, and I'm feeling it! the honeymoon is over.

Oh, the pride in thinking i am too good for inconvenience, let alone suffering.  I deserve consistent power. I deserve one solid night of rest. etc. It simply isn't true. and yet i operate as if it is. The truth is "all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution..." 2 Timothy 3:12... and this isn't persecution. This isn't even suffering. This is inconvenience. What I really deserve is eternal condemnation, because I am a sinner.  But He is gracious.

I deserve none of the good things I have. He generously gives us all things. The key to humility is recognizing how much He has already given.  The key is gratitude.  I am humbled as I look around me and see all He has done for me. And I slander the name of God when I complain about what He has allowed in my life.  And in Titus this week I've been reminded that older women are not slanderers... they are teachers of good things... -Titus 2:3

Here are the true and good things I need to be reminded of:

• The grace of God has appeared to all men. (Titus 2:11)
• I have a blessed hope. (Titus 2:13)
• One day there will be a glorious appearing. (Titus 2:13)
• He gave Himself for me. (Titus 2:14)
• I am redeemed. (Titus 2:14)
• I am special to Him. (Titus 2:14)
• He has given kindness and love in Christ. (Titus 3:4)
• His mercy has saved me. (Titus 3:5)
• The Holy Spirit has been poured out abundantly on me. (Titus 3:5-6)
• I am an heir in Christ. (Titus 3:7)
• I have been justified. (Titus 3:7)

these are things we ought to affirm constantly...these things are good and profitable to think on... -Titus 3:8

What do you do when pride sneaks up and rears its ugly head?  What are you grateful for today?

I'm linking up at The Grove today at velvetashes.com 

Praying Backwards

I don't know about you, but at most prayer gatherings I've been to you sit around and spend half the time sharing requests and the other half praying and maybe share a Scripture together. What I would like to suggest is that we try working backwards sometime!

Tonight at our WGM Uganda prayer meeting it was my privilege to lead, and the Spirit prompted me to lead us in praying from the book of 2 Thessalonians.

Here's how to pray 2 Thessalonians.

Basically the leader reads through the book in advance and picks out prayer prompts from each chapter. Then during the prayer meeting the leader guides the prayer time verse by verse and you pray for anyone the Spirit lays on your heart who needs that prayer.

2 Thessalonians

• 1:3 "We are bound to thank God always for you..." God we thank you for __________.  etc.
• 1:11-12 "We pray that our God would count you worthy of this calling and fulfill all His good purposes... that He may be glorified..." God, may _____ be counted worthy.  Fulfill all Your good purposes in _____________ life.  etc.
• 2:15 "brethren, stand fast." I know _____ is struggling, may he stand fast.
• 2:16 "May God who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work..."  God, please comfort ___________. etc.
• 3:1 "that the word of the Lord may run swiftly..." 
• 3:2-3 "that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men... God is faithful who will establish and guard you from the evil one..." _____ is in the middle of spiritual warfare. Establish and guard them from the evil one. etc
• 3:5 " May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ."
• 3:13 "do not grow weary in doing good."
• 3:16 "May the God of peace Himself give you peace in every way.  The Lord be with you all." We pray for peace in this situation. etc

We would be grateful if you would gather a few friends and use this as your guideline for praying for the world.  Let us know if you will use it and what you think of this style of praying!

Helping your Family Make the Transition

"...Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

Be joyful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.

...May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!"  -I Thessalonians 5:13-18, 23-24 The Message

A Quiet Life

"...make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders..." -I Thessalonians 4:11-12 NIV

As I sat on our balcony I could literally feel my soul take a deep breath.  Everything within me expanded and heaved a sigh of relief.  We are so grateful to be back here.  It's a curious feeling to have a strange land become yours.  But that's how it feels.  We loved being in the states with family and friends.  We needed to reconnect with our home church so they could truly send us.  And yet, it almost feels like we were never gone... we've stepped right back into our home and life here... and it feels good.  

We will have to find a new normal- we've never had a baby in this place before.  I will need to lay down some tasks I carried when I had whole days alone while the boys were at school.  But these verses have really spoken to me as I pray about my role on the field- making it my ambition to lead a quiet life, to be faithful in only what He calls me to, that my daily life may win the respect of outsiders.  

And so I will wash dishes and change diapers for the glory of God.  I will embrace the everyday sacred. And I will faithfully carry out all He lays before me.  

How is He calling you to serve Him and expand His kingdom around the world?  Does it feel big or small?  

What To Do In the Middle of Chaos

Colossians has been a life-line for me in the past week as it brought me face to face with Jesus, the One and Only, the First and the Head!  He has been meeting me, as I know He has been meeting you.  He is truly enough in every circumstance we may find ourselves. As we review Colossians today, here are a few things to do when you’re in the middle of chaos:

Have faith in Him- As I read in the Amplified version, I found this beautiful definition of faith: the leaning of your entire human personality on Him in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness (Colossians 1:4 Amplified).  When you don’t know what to do or how you’re going to make it through just lean everything you are on Him!

Give thanks- No matter how bad your circumstance may be, there are always reasons to give thanks.  Paul rejoiced in his suffering for the gospel.  He challenged us to give thanks in everything we do.  We can always give thanks because He has made us heirs with Christ, and has rescued us from the dominion of darkness (Colossians 1:12-13)!  Giving thanks is a practical way to set our minds on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2 NKJV).

Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly- as busy as these days have been for me, I am so grateful for this Soaking in the Son challenge.  It has placed me right where I need to be- in the Word!  As we seek Him in His Word, He can shift our perspective and give us a truth lens with which to view the chaos!  I love how it sounds in the Amplified version: Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness (Colossians 3:16 Amplified).

Continue earnestly in prayer… meanwhile praying also for us- Not only should we ask for God’s help in our own chaos, but one of the most helpful ways to survive the chaos is to look outside of yourself and pray for others!  Allow me to pray for you the beautiful prayer of Colossians: I ask, Father, that each reader would be filled with the knowledge of Your will in all wisdom and understanding; that she may walk worthy of You, fully pleasing You, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in her knowledge of You; strengthened with all might, according to Your glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; and may she give thanks to You always (Colossians 1:9-12 NKJV). Thank you for rescuing us, for loving us, and for holding all things together (Colossians 1:17 NIV).  In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen
 
Extra Challenge-  As you devote yourselves to prayer,  please pray for us, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ… Pray that we may proclaim it clearly; that we may be wise in our interactions with others; making the most of every opportunity (Colossians 4: 2-6 paraphrased).  As you are led, please pray also for our extended family as they experience the paradox of transition: joy in their service to Jesus and grief in the long separation.   

Enjoying Homeland Assignment

I'm linking up at the Grove- Enjoy today with thoughts from our Soaking in the Son Challenge in Philippians

Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account. Indeed I have all and abound. I am full, having received from Epaphroditus the things sent from you, a sweet-smelling aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well pleasing to God. And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:17-19

I can't begin to describe how different this Homeland Assignment is from our first one!  We feel sent, not just supported.  And I am definitely enjoying it!  

Here are some reasons why:

• The pastor at our home church asked if we felt "sent" the first time, and resolved to make sure we did this time.
• Our missions chair has attended some of our services at other churches just to be an encouragement. 
• We led a small group during Advent, we felt connected and they prayed over us (during the holidays when we didn't have lots of speaking engagements)
• Our sending church held an Ice Cream Social and prayed over us and donated sweet love gifts of craisins, and fruit snacks and other treats that taste like home.
• 7 people from church came and helped us stuff newsletters- 600 newsletters in 1 1/2 hour!  
• A girl from church came over and watched the baby so we could be productive yesterday. 
• Our last Sunday here they will pray for us in church (this Sunday at both services for SUMC folks!)
• We got word this week that a family from church is already working on a care package for us.  

So, like Paul, we rejoice that our sending church is abounding in fruit- they are growing in missions and seriously caring for their home-grown missionaries.  Their love and support is a sweet-smelling offering and worship that is well-pleasing to God.  And we pray daily that our God would supply all their needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  

If you're here from the Grove- how was your last Homeland Assignment?  Did you enjoy it?  And if you're a sender, know that we're grateful for you!  What do you appreciate about visiting missionaries at church?

Soaking in the Son: Ephesians TBT

**repost from the archives- these thoughts from Ephesians came to mind as we prepare to return to Uganda.  Will you join us in the fight?  Will you pray for Uganda?

this view. the ominous clouds. the palm tree swaying in the breeze.
the sunlight illuminating the veranda. a storm is brewing.  but there is such beauty.

and we, with Christ, take our place above the storm in the heavenlies.  

"If we are to grapple, not with flesh-and-blood adversaries, but with principalities and powers in the heavenlies, we need to come to grips with one basic truth of God's Word: that when God raised Jesus Christ from the dead and set Him in the seat of authority "far above all", He made us co-sharers with Him in every stage of the mighty finished work and then seated us with Him.

From only one position is it safe to approach and resist Satan, and that is from this position in Christ in the highest heavenlies.  From this position Satan and his hosts are completely vulnerable.

So for us also (like the fighter pilots of World War II) altitude is a vital factor.  Victory depends on it.  Understandable, therefore, Satan's craft is dedicated to luring us away from this place of advantage and causing us to forget his vulnerability." -R Arthur Matthews, Born for Battle

So, how do we soar to our rightful place with Christ in the heavenlies?  And how do we stay there day in and day out?  Praise rises.  Gratitude lifts.  As we fix our eyes on Him in praise and thanksgiving- we take our place beside Him.  Praise is our response to His glory.  Gratitude is our response to His goodness- it unites us with Him.  And Satan does not want us thanking God for all things.  He wants us grumbling and complaining for every minor inconvenience.  It lowers us beneath him and leaves us vulnerable to his attack.  

As Ann Voskamp notes in One Thousand Gifts: 
"The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest light to all the world."  

Will you take your seat with Christ in the heavenlies?  Will you thank Him for all things?  We need grateful, valiant warriors who will fight beside us for the hearts and souls of those in Uganda! 

Basking in Him

Soaking in the Son: Ephesians

For [if we are] in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith activated and energized and expressed and working through love. Galatians 5:6 AMPLIFIED

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT

Hands On Bible for Kids :)

Soaking in the Son has been so good for me!  Just one week in and already He is transforming and challenging me. I read Ephesians today in the New Living Translation, because my son's Bible was on the coffee table waiting for me when Elizabeth woke at 5am.  And I finished up Galatians yesterday in the Amplified Version- I love all the explanatory words! Such emphasis!  

So, we got back from vacation Saturday night and had a full Sunday of ministry and goodbyes. Our sweet girl did not sleep much at all on vacation  change of scenery- so I'm exhausted and have caught her cold. This is usually cause for crankiness, laziness, huffing, etc... but Jesus is calling me to so much more! I'm sure I won't do it perfectly, but He is challenging me to live a life of love, not drudgery, not duty, but love!  And as I do the things love does, like nurse this babe all.night.long. or rise at 5am, those sacrifices become a pleasing aroma to God!!!  Hallelujah! 2am feedings can be redeemed, as I offer them to Him (and her) as a love gift. I've got long way to go, but I am resolved to put off the old, tired, cranky self and put on Jesus today!  

Leaving...

I'm linking up at the Grove again this week on the topic of grief.

As we prepare to head back to Uganda, there are a multitude of emotions. Ok, with a baby around most of what I am feeling is tired. But when I start to let myself process this transition, then the tired + _______ is magnified and usually ends in tears. 

Leaving is actually the better end of the deal. Staying is always harder- life stays the same, but without someone. And I am really excited to get back to our life in Uganda. So, the danger for me is to fast forward to the new, and skim through the goodbyes. I must sit in the grief, let myself feel sad about leaving, truly express my love and gratitude for my family, friends and champions and say good goodbyes. 

I am enjoying the Soaking in the Son summer challenge- and this encouragement to do the hard work of grieving and leaving well: "and let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all..." -Galatians 6:9-10

So we are on vacation with Josh's family, soaking up the family time and making memories to last the next four years!

Soaking in the Son: Galatians

So, we are heading off on vacation with Josh's family today (some quality time before we leave for Uganda)- so I don't know if I will get to post my thoughts on Galatians this weekend.

I love how I've seen women on facebook rallying around this challenge- it is encouraging to know I'm not alone in my heart to know Him more and bask in the Son this summer!

It is so refreshing to start in Galatians where the main theme is freedom!  There is no way with two active boys, a baby girl and an international move that I will actually be able to read each epistle at least 4 times in one week!  But there is freedom!

I was sharing Galatians 2:20 with my boys, and I got this blank stare... "My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (NLT)  I died.... It is no longer I who live....  So I live... He just didn't get it.

So I explained it this way: Imagine you are driving in a car.  Who is in control of the car?  The driver.  So either, you can be the driver of your life or Jesus can be the driver.  And of course we all want Jesus to be in the drivers' seat, however, if you're anything like me you try and turn the steering wheel from time to time and that's when trouble starts!  If Jesus is the driver: He knows where He is going, He knows the best way to get there, and He does all the work!  Hallelujah- there is freedom in letting Him be our life!

A sweet picture that I am experiencing first hand these days is that of parent and child- children freely ask for what they want and need all. the. time.  Knowing the heart of their parents grants them freedom to ask!  We have been given a spirit of sonship, so we can cry out "Abba!  Daddy!" Knowing the heart of God ought to give us freedom to ask what we need of Him!

The last aspect of freedom I noticed is in the illustration of fruit- the branch just clings to the tree- the life force of the tree flows through the branch and produces the fruit.  Praise Him- I don't have to work up fruit! As I abide, and bask in the freedom of being connected to Him, He bears fruit through me!  

Are you taking the Soaking in the Son Challenge?  What has He been saying to you through Galatians this week?  Leave a comment!

Summer Challenge 2014

I'm taking the Summer Challenge with Titus Women! I love their intense summer Bible plans- it is a great way to get in the Word over the summer when there is less structure in our days!

We are starting in Galatians- read it everyday.  I love the idea of being immersed in one book for a week.  And with a baby, maybe I'll only make it through once- but there's grace for that :)

The theme is Soaking in the Son- so as I read I'll be looking for Jesus, basking in this life with Him, and seeking to walk in His Spirit.

Will you join me?  You can sign up HERE.  I'll be posting thoughts from my reading on the weekend (Fri, Sat or Sun).  Stay tuned!