coming out of hiding

it's amazing how silence can fill you with words.  thank you for grace this week.  my heart is full because i went slowly, did what was necessary and wasn't constantly narrating my own life. 


i missed it a little {social media, that is}. but i certainly am not going back to the crazy woman i was.  i'm coming out of hiding,  but i'm not shouting it from the roof-tops. 

these are tender days. like these gorgeous flowers i cut from our yard, because of her. and put in a vase she gave me.   so fragrant.  i walk by the dining room and just inhale.  that's what i'm doing these days, breathing deep.  inhaling life here.  letting it sink into my heart. 

the flowers are lovely {but fragile} some are already wilting. and new ones still tight;y wrapped, waiting to bloom.  that's what my life feels like.  lovely, fragile, wilting, and full of promise all at the same time. 

Going Dark...

...I will read a good book..

Josh is safely home.  It was a happy weekend, Jesus really sustained us.  But we both realized that if 5 days apart felt long... what are we going to do when we're an ocean apart for a whole month? 

So, I'm going dark.  Logging off. Saying no to facebook, and blogging, twitter and pinterest.  For one week.  I'm going to savor the best things in life.  I'm going to hug my family tighter.  I'm going to eat wholesome, nourishing food.  I'm going to breathe deep this glorious african air.  I want this place, this season, indelibly printed on my heart.  I'm going to linger over coffee with good friends.  I'm going to write in my journal, with a pen.  I will hand-write notes.  And I will read good books, like Bread and Wine, that instigated this whole post in the first place:

"I realized that the really major things were happening all around me, and that more often than not, I had been missing them because my phone had become an extension of my hand, and what it said to people, essentially, is that just being with them isn't enough.  This view of the ocean? Not enough.  Your story? Not enough." -Shauna Niequist, Bread and Wine.

...like swapping stories with a kindred spirit...

This book is messing with me in all the right ways.  Something in it resonates with me.  It's like swapping stories with a kindred spirit in your cozy living room, and leaving transformed and enlightened {after having a really good laugh and/or cry}.   So, I want to be present.  I want to live my life and write my own story.  I want to surround myself with beautiful women, and eat delicious food, and hug my boys... I'm taking a deep breath, and entering into my own story.  I'll be back next Tuesday.

escaping

It's been an intense week.  and we're drained.  We've seen God show up in cool ways this week. 

But we need to enter in to His rest.  We need to bask in His love.  We need to breathe.

So we're off to Jinja with Josh's parents til Monday.  I'm unplugging.  Can't wait to just be.

{thanks for praying for Caleb's bad tooth- he saw a dentist today and got it pulled.  He seems to be doing okay now.  Praise Him!}

Missing Him...

"The Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." -John 1:14

I want to see God.  I have this crazy notion that an hour of quiet time is where I will find Him.  I so often desire a heavenly vision- some glowing, glory moment- an incredible hour of solitude- an emotional, intimate prayer time.

And I miss Him because He comes unexpectedly... clothed in skin just like He did 2,000 years ago.  His people are still missing Him, I'm still missing Him, even though we've seen His M.O. before.  He came, not in a cloud of glory on a white steed, but wearing soft, pink skin in a feeding trough.  Utterly human.

"the work we do is only our love for Jesus in action, writes Mother Theresa.  if we pray the work... if we do it to Jesus... that's what makes us content."  that is what makes us content- the contented, deep joy is always in the touching of Christ- in whatever skin He comes to us in. -Ann Voskamp

I keep thinking if I get this quiet time thing right, I'll finally be holy.   But He doesn't just come in the quiet moments, He comes in the faces before us each day.  He is present in every moment, not just the holy ones.  And the glorious thing is- He comes in the mundane moments too.  If I will just see Him, He can transform those mundane moments into holy ones. 

Serve your kids, and you can serve Jesus.  Love on your husband, and you can love Him.  Each cup of cold water, or Christmas cookie- can be an offering to God.  If you do it for Him, He will tear down the wall between the sacred and the secular- and make all of your life His.

It's not nearly as tricky or complicated as I've been trying to make it.  I've been missing His face, because I didn't recognize His skin. 

Engaged!

He stands. Waiting.  Dressed in his tuxedo best.  Just then a hush falls over the crowd gathered.  She is here.  At last...The doors open, all the eyes are on her, the bride.  She is radiant.  Her eyes fixed on him.   At long last the day had finally come when the two would become one flesh.  And someday our Heavenly Groom will come for you and for me. 


"Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His wife has made herself ready..."  -Revelation 19:7

Advent.  It's a season of preparation.  Last week I came to the realization that I've been living disengaged lately.  So as I was wrestling through what engagement looks like, I glanced down at my wedding ring.

Engaged!  Betrothed.  I am His beloved and He is coming back for me someday!  A woman who is engaged is dreaming of the day she marries her man, planning her wedding day, and preparing to be a good wife.  She is making herself ready.

Why aren't we, His Bride, making ourselves ready for His coming?  If you and I want to live fully engaged, we must put away our lesser loves and be completely His.  This season of engagement and preparation is meant to be glorious!  He is wooing us to Himself.

the Now and Not Yet

The magic of Christmas is not in the presents... but in His Presence.

"I am with you in all that you do, in even the most menial task... However, your awareness of My Presence falters and flickers..." -Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

"Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel, which is translated, "God with us." -Matthew 1:23

"And, behold, I am coming quickly..." -Revelation 22:12

He is here with us.  And yet, He is coming again.  Such a paradox!  On this 2nd Sunday of Advent dwell on the reality and depth of the "now and not yet".  

All alone.

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Will bring her into the wilderness,And speak comfort to her." -Hosea 2:14

There are some things you can only learn in the wilderness of solitude.  
His Presence is sweet when there are no others to run to.  He wants me all to Himself.  
For that I am grateful.

I'm not here.

"What I search for in My children is an awakened soul that thrills to the joy of My presence..." -Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

My soul is anything but awake.  Sleeping?  Distracted?  Busy?  Divided?  Bored?  Distant?

Perhaps.

What is it that keeps my soul from thrilling at the joy of His presence????  Is there some idol-smashing that needs to happen?  Is there some little god on the throne of my soul?  Somewhere along the line I've failed to love Him with my whole heart.  I've been so distracted lately.  mindless.  just going through the motions..  I get a glimmer of awareness.  a flash of peace and joy.  then it disappears and I'm back to zoning out.   I've disengaged.  that's it.  I'm not all here. 

Yet, still He calls me to enter in.  Engage.  Here. Present.  Receiving.  Feeling.  I need to log off the internet and log into my own life and the people here.  I've been distant from Him, friends and family.

This Advent He beckons.  Awake.  Get ready.  Enter in.  Will you join me?  Wednesdays of Advent I'll post some more thoughts on how to live awake, what Advent really means for our hearts, and how to stay engaged.  But otherwise it'll be pretty quiet around here.  I need to re-engage in real life. 

morning love...

it was one of those still mornings.  and i could hear Him whispering.  "arise. come away with Me."  and it was one of those rare days when i actually heeded His call.

i bought "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young this weekend.  and it was such a sweet reminder this morning: "Think of your life as an adventure, with Me as your Guide and Companion.  Live in the now, concentrating on staying in step with Me... Enjoy the rhythm of life lived close to Me..."

He met me.  and i am grateful.

{gifts #6981-

6981.  Sabbath. candles lit.  music playing. boys near.
6982.  house guests welcomed.
6983.  early morning invitation to enter in.
6984.  saying yes to Your invitation.  not missing out.
6985.  how You meet me.
6986.  a new devotional
6987.  date day with my man.

6988.  spending early Christmas money on a cozy chair
6989.  his hard work on getting it in the van, up to the second floor and into our room
6990.  an oasis from the busy days
6991.  how You care for our needs.
6992.  the peace in knowing there is a quiet refuge in this home
6993.  You- our ever present help and refuge. 

Ode to Rainy Season

the clouds descending like a veil.

darkness falling at 4:30pm.

the first drops splashing the ground. 

thunder crashing.

rain.pelts.furious.beat.

lightning illuminates the sky.

wide-eyed little boys.

the earthy scent of rain.

steaming cup of tea.

easing my toes into worn slippers.

rainy season ritual.

the      d r o p s         slow.

thunder echoes in the distance.

sustenance seeping into earth.

peace seeping into my soul.

90 Day Bible Challenge

June 2, 2012- I'm taking the challenge- reading the Bible in 90 days.  I  can't imagine a better time to soak in the Word than these 90 days of summer!  I'm a little nervous- but looking forward to how God reveals Himself this summer!

July 7, 2012- A third of the way there!  Day #35.  I've missed some days, but the experience as a whole has been incredible.  Pure grace~ I'm entering the love story He has been writing for ages. He is the same, yesterday, today and forever.  His Word never fails.  Maybe you can't take the 90 Day Bible Challenge.  But can you spend time with Him each day?  Will you commit to 30 minutes of Bible reading and prayer this summer? 




Today, I'm just overflowing with gratitude for who He is: {excerpts from gifts #6555-6585}

#6555. Your word. life-giving. challenging.
#6556.  how You fill and fill. so we can give and give. {I Kings 17}
#6573.  reading the Bible in 90 days- seeing Your consistent character on every page.
#6580.  Your works- marvelous, wondrous.  Your covenant- everlasting.  {I Chronicles 16}
#6583.  You- great and awesome.  keeping Your covenant and mercy to those who love You.
#6584.  You, our God will fight for us.
#6585.  You, our God- ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abundant in kindness, not forsaking us.  Such patience and grace! {Nehemiah 9}

TIA: One Year!

i think our palm tree has grown more than our boys have!

I cannot believe we've been in Uganda for one whole year.  Some days it feels like we just got here.  Other days it feels like this has always been home.  There have certainly been some incredible ministry opportunities (at Heritage and at United Faith Church), and some hilarious TIA moments.  I hope you've been enjoying this Thursday tradition! 

We love being on this journey with you- we certainly couldn't be here without you!  

We're celebrating this happy first anniversary by going on safari!  We got on the road this morning (will post soon: Road Trippin' Africa Style) and will return to Kampala Saturday.  Just a brief holiday to enjoy God's glorious creation and soak up some african sun.  

How has God changed you by being a part of His work here in Uganda??  We would love to hear from you in the comments section (and just maybe there will be a giveaway to celebrate our first year in Uganda)!

I think, one year in, we're becoming more compassionate as a family, and more grateful for all our blessings.  Our boys have certainly become more open to the things of God.  And, personally, I'm praying more than I ever have in my life.  What about you?  Leave your transformation story in the comments!

Friday Five: Ways to Pray for Retreat

We leave for Fort Portal, Uganda on Sunday morning for 5 days of retreat.  Many of our missionaries are ready for break, but more importantly we are all ready for a fresh touch from Jesus!  Rev. Alan and Beth Coppedge are our speakers, and we look forward to how the Spirit will use them to speak directly to our hearts.  Will you pray for us as we take time away from our ministries, and reconnect with God and our teammates?

1. Pray for safety, health, and protection for each person and each vehicle!  God wants to do big things, and Satan is trying his best to hinder the work of God.  As of yesterday: Matt and Judah Burke, Caleb and Seth Hallahan, and Emilee Hopson were sick.  Maybe more I haven't heard of. 
2. Pray that each participant comes with a soft and open heart to receive all that Jesus has for them.  Pray that we would receive His hard word, as well as His tender word.
3. Pray for a spirit of unity, trust, and love among us.  That team dynamics, and any inter-personal issues we might have would be resolved in a way that brings honor and glory to Jesus.  That any conversations that need to occur, would happen.
4. Pray that we would act on the lessons we receive, that we would be obedient to the heavenly vision and that we would walk out in the valley what we hear on the mountain.   
5. Pray that Jesus has freedom to do all that He wants to, and that the world would be transformed because of what He does in us on retreat.  May all that we receive not just be for our own betterment, but for the expansion of His kingdom here in Uganda!

enter and receive.

some days the gifts are wrapped in ribbon and smiles.  easy to spot.  easy to receive.
other days the gifts are buried beneath a layer of dirt.  hard to find.  harder still to receive. 
this year of "enter in" has me receiving each moment as a gift.  He beckons me to enter this moment, this battle, this story.  fully.  and it has been joy and struggle.

and so i keep counting- the joys and the trials- as pure gift from a good God:


sweet, silly boys catching raindrops on tongues
good friends. here.
head tipped back, mouth open wide, receiving this very moment.

team-building games, like a shrinking island and a spider web
the privilege of partnering with these african university students
laughter and smiles, truth and revelation through games
watching them prepare to change the world

a counter full of dishes
students pitching in
happy work of hospitality
this house full to the brim

poor little man home sick
rest for his body
doctors nearby if he needs to be treated
cheap medicine
being there when he needs me

Release the River!

There is much evil and darkness on this beautiful continent.  So many who don't know Jesus, such mighty strongholds.  And my brother is called to take the light into one of these dark places- the Democratic Republic of the Congo.  He is actually taking a night bus (pray for his safety!!) tonight to Kampala to sort out some VISA issues, before his trip into the DRC next week (read more about his itinerary here).

Watch this clip and the join us in praying!


"Holy Spirit release the river of Your power across East Africa!  Pour forth with such power that it knocks down strongholds, and tears down walls.  We see the enemy nervous, blocked in a corner; he is dangerous.  But You are the Almighty!  Protect Scott and Billy, Meg and Joanna and the kids from any retaliation he might send.  Post Your angels at every point of conflict.  We claim the victory already won for us at Calvary, and stand strong in the face of a defeated foe!  Bring glory to Yourself as we lift You high!  In the strong and matchless name of Jesus we pray. Amen."

it’s the little things…

i've had my camera out a bit more these days.  amazing what you see when you're looking through a lens.  these moments could have been labeled mundane, or average, but because I stopped to savor and enter in to the moment- they became sacred.


-- little boy wonder
-- slimy slug, captivating them
-- my night and day boys- one intensely interested, one warily watching


-- happy heart home day, Sabbath rest
-- a morning to color and listen to worship music, quietly renewing our spirits
-- leisurely cup of coffee on a slow morning


-- daddy love = wrestling
-- joy and delight in their faces
-- this house full of men


-- little boys in bed early
-- sharing a bowl of popcorn
-- an epic movie snuggled up with my man

How can you pause and savor the little things today?  

You are Invited...

... by the God of the universe to walk with Him, to partner with Him, to know Him... wow. startling grace.

"My heart is glad when you walk close, with your hand in Mine, and we may talk over the plans for each day's journey and activities- work and pleasures- so that it becomes a happy way that we travel in mutual fellowship." Francis J Roberts, Come Away My Beloved

Counting the startling graces of being Yours:

#5397.  I can bring joy to Your heart, just by walking with You.
#5398.  You are happy to spend Your days with me.
#5399.  You want me to share in Your work in the world. 
#5400.  that mutual fellowship is even possible- because of what Jesus did on the cross- He tore the veil so I can enter in.
#5401.  You invite me to join You in blessing the world- who shall we bless today?
#5402.  the love gifts You send- glittering humming bird alighting on banana leaf- flitting away- a quick moment's gift
#5403.  homemade peppermint mocha
#5404.  sweet time in prayer with our team
#5405.  not one good word of Your promises ever fails

I Dare You...

out of focus.  it's blurry around here.  And while we completely enjoyed every second of our lazy Christmas break, we're heading back to the real world that rushes by fast!  And I don't want to miss it.  I want to enter in.  And He is helping me!  I'm accepting His invitation and He is showing up!

And Ann's Joy Dare, came at just the right moment.  I've been counting for years (plural) now, and had fallen in a rut.  This Joy Dare is like a spark to my gift-seeking- like a little kid on a treasure hunt- I'm on a mission!  And it is glorious! And I'm not alone- there are hundreds who have signed up on Ann's blog, and my very own husband has taken the dare (he can't say no to a dare :) ).  Hopefully he will post about that soon!

seeking the Joy-Giver everyday (excerpts from gifts #5336- #5371 ):

-- a lazy Saturday morning
-- glorious fort inspiration
-- tucked into our own fort reading The Magic Faraway Tree together

-- finding a quiet spot in church
-- light reflecting from edge of communion cup- light and life- swallowed down and making me whole
-- "there is no shadow in Your presence"
-- a sudden break in the clouds- light that caught me and warmed me
-- light and dark skin tones... He loves all the children of the world!

-- a new house guest til Monday
-- a true champion of missions!
-- a man wholly available
-- sitting down to breakfast with Matt
-- a gift that is sour: Monday came too quick- goodbyes- sad little boy weeping in my arms

--a gift that is sweet: the last pot of Hazelnut Coffee from Jo Coppedge

-- a gift that's just.right:  sitting on our balcony overlooking the city, tee shirt and flip flops in January. I was made to be a missionary in Africa!

-- Gloria cooking Ugandan food for us.
-- 3 things that are yellow: golden evening sun pouring in the backdoor
-- lemonade on a warm afternoon
-- happy yellow flowering tree on the edge of the hill

Take the Joy Dare- I dare you!   

Today's dare:

something above you, 

something below you,

something beside you

what are you thankful for?

Enter in...

naming a year. receiving the gift straight from His hand.  catching His vision for the year ahead.  and He says to me: "enter in."

the israelites didn't get to enter in- "the people of the land shall worship at the entrance..." -Ezekiel 46:3; they could only stand at the door and worship.

but He says to me- "therefore, (daughter), having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for (you), through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, draw near with a true heart with full assurance of faith..." -Hebrews 10:19-22

• enter in to His presence often.  first thing in the morning. throughout the day.  
• enter in to His love.  believe it. trust it.  bask in it. 
• enter in to this glorious partnership-hearing from Him, receiving His plans for each day, participating in His love relationship with the world through service and prayer
• enter in to my inheritance.  enter the land and possess it.  "Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers." Deut 8:1
• enter in to His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise Psalm 100:4
• enter in to this moment.  be present.
• enter in to the other relationships He has placed in my life and not just linger on the periphery.

It's with some fear and trepidation that I choose to enter in, trusting in the goodness of God to meet me, asking for the boldness to enter in by the blood of Jesus, and not any of my own righteousness.   I'm excited.  I'm nervous.  It will definitely be a grand adventure!

The door is swung wide, the garden beckons, the Gardener waits, won't you just enter in?  Come sit awhile, enjoy His presence, receive His gifts.  Enter in.

Where is He leading you?  What will you name 2012?