Friday, May 27, 2016

Journey through Psalms

these gorgeous, fragrant flowers bloom like crazy in May
these flowers. they bloom like crazy in may. and smell amazing. but since May is goodbye month- they smell like to grief to me.

I'm taking a long, slow stroll through Psalms right now. Soaking in one chapter per week with a friend. And it is good.

I love the permission to feel all the feels. And the faith to still declare, "Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him." {Psalm 2:12 NKJV}

Another friend sent me a link to a sermon series on the Psalms and it has been so encouraging. Especially Psalm 3- Psalms of Lament {listen}.

This is a season of grieving for the missionary community. The school year comes to a close and many leave for the summer, and this year many just leave. For good. And that's the hazard of international life. One of the toughest, actually. And so I will build my CABIN while I stay, at least until I'm the one going.

And I will cling to these two strong words: "But You..." from Psalm 3. 
  • are good.
  • work all things for my good.
  • never change.
  • are still on the throne.
  • are my portion.
  • won't forsake me.
  • don't make mistakes.

"But You _______________." How would you fill in the blank? Leave it in the comments!

Friday, February 19, 2016

Leaning in.

The tensions are high. And tempers flare. The ugliness of the human heart splashed across our days. I am speaking of our home- not the elections currently taking place in Uganda. And it makes me want to run away. But we are sheltering in place. Nowhere to go. I've got to stay. Lean into the hard. 

Facing the demons within is way scarier than whatever may be raging in the world around me. And He says: fear not. I am with you.

I know this intense season of littles wont last forever. Fear not- this too shall pass. 

We are confined to our hill at least until Saturday as the election unfolds. Fear not- nothing will touch you that does not pass through My hand. 

I lived ugly today. The overflow of my weary heart gushing from my lips. Fear not- tomorrow is another day. My mercies are new each morning.

Ive been walking in lack... Not in love this week. I am so tired. But this is not reason to sin; this is reason to lean in. 

So grateful for this quote from Elisabeth Elliot encouraging me to stay in the game, to lean in and not give up: 

"The very cracks and crannies of my life... He wants to fill with Himself, His joy, His life. The more unsatisfactory my "performance" the more He calls me to share His yoke. I should know by now that mine makes me tired and overburdened. He urges me to learn of Him: 'I am gentle and humble in heart.'" -Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Loved greatly

“Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.” -Ephesians 1:4 AMP

He chose me. Me! And not only did He choose me, He chose me in Christ before the foundation of the world. Before I was able to perform. Before I was able to please. Before I was able to disappoint. 

He picked me out for His very own because He loves me. And yet my worthiness has absolutely nothing to do with me. My worthiness is bound up with Christ- so I can't boast, can't lose it, can't do anything but say thank you. Talk about freedom. Makes me want to whirl around with arms out wide and sing at the top of my lungs- and live grateful- love bold.

Into the Desert

"living, rather than preaching, the presence of Christ in the world" -Charles de Foucald

"...their life is more or less hidden from the world..."

"It is inseparable in so many respects from that of their neighbors; but the life of prayer and devotion finds practical expression in their availability and hospitality to others..."

"The search for God- and God alone..."

these are the words that are guiding me as I ask God what He wants of me this lent.

After the winter holidays, festivity and feasting what my soul needs is fasting. And I could not be more excited about the book that will guide me this year. The Desert. I have always loved the wisdom of the desert fathers. This book is speaking my heart language.

And my word for the year, lean in, is also guiding my lenten practices. I am leaning out of facebook, so I can lean in to the relationships around me. I am leaning into the hiddenness of this season. I am not just seeking God in solitude, but also in availability and hospitality to others. I am leaning in to small, everyday moments via my instagram: #monochromaticlent. My goal this lenten season isn't to give up all kinds of crazy things, but to truly and intentionally live out my highest priorities on a daily basis.
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