Community: The beautiful, the ugly, and the yet to be...

Play Group: August 2014

Wow! We are seven months in.

We are only seven months in.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. It's a four-year term. There have been some sweet moments of community-like this play group (but it sadly falls right in the midst of morning nap), and my Bible study ladies, our mentor sessions with the Metz's and my coffee dates with Abbey. And there have been some disappointments, the not quite clicking, the friends already preparing to leave, etc. This expat community stuff is not for the weak.

Or maybe weak is exactly what I need to be... humility and serving one another in love are two crucial components of community. I not only need to give, but receive. It was so beautifully said in this post:

"Community is not found- it is built, one brick of love at a time."

And the other beautiful thing is that God is still here. He is drawing me closer to His heart, refining me in this hard season, and allowing me to yearn for that glorious Someday. Someday there will be no more tears, no more goodbyes... and until then, we can love fiercely the ones He has placed in front of us. I don't want to quit engaging just because it's hard. He has brought dear friends into my life in the past, and He will do it again.

I don't know about you, but I want to know and be known, and so I'll build, one love brick at a time.

{linking up at the Grove: Community}

And so inspired by these posts:

6 People that Kill Community (oh, I'm guilty of playing a couple of these roles)
Cracks in Community
Love Like a Gangster

Celebrating Community

we're four months in. we've already got a two year term under our belts. we made friends that first term {amazing friends} some of whom are still here. and so when we returned we knew people, we were coming back home. so why was I feeling so lost?

goodbye lunch with Vanessa 2013

remember that time I met my BFF online {my side of the story here} {and her side}? and we ended up spending every Thursday together for the first year? and how even now from Canada to Uganda our hearts still beat to the same rhythm? we knew her term was only two years.  i knew she wasn't going to be here when we got back. goodbyes stink, even when you do them well. but it was still sad to face reality on this side. she was the one i would text in the middle of the day when my kids did something hilarious. or the one I could call late at night when I needed prayer. and I miss her.

and so in some ways I felt like I was starting all over. and then as I thought about it God brought to mind all the lovelies who are still here and the new friends I am beginning to make. and God reminded me- if He was able to do it once, He can do it again. He has friends in mind for me. and He also reminded me that loneliness is ok if I allow it to push me closer to His heart. and that He is here. always.

Oasis ladies, new teammate, old friend, new friends

and then there was the moment I heard BIG NEWS that this lady was moving from Indonesia to Kampala! and i wondered if we would become friends. and we met for coffee. our boys played. and then we decided to start meeting for weekly Bible study with two other ladies who were new to Kampala. and friendship began to blossom. we meet at our favorite pizza place for Ladies Night Out {with kids, when any one of our husbands are traveling}. and our boys say "That was the funnest night I ever had" and "I never laughed so hard I couldn't breathe before" and "I really like that family".

but it's still hovering around the surface til that one day we got real and discussed our core issues and it tumbles out that we. need. each. other. and walls come down. and text messages start flying. and we discover we may have just found what we are looking for.

Two great posts that have really encouraged me lately:

• That One Best Friend
• Ask. Offer. Connect.

Dinner Guests {and a recipe}

One of the things I love about being back in Uganda is having my own kitchen and having guests for dinner. Tonight we had our friends and co-workers, Kennedy and Lillian over for dinner. Kennedy and Lillian are the ones who started the university ministry.  It is such a privilege to join them in this strategic kingdom work. We love their heart and passion for Jesus and for young people. It was so good to sit around the table with them again!

Over the past three weeks we have fed or hosted 40 people!  And I love it.  My heart is full when my house is full.  So grateful.

I served my favorite rice and beans recipe.  I haven't had it since we left over a year ago.  It was high time to dig this out of the recipe binder!  Hurry and make this in America while you can still get mango and avocado! And if you're in Uganda- make this tomorrow.  It's delish.

Black Beans and Coconut Rice

Coconut Rice

Ingredients

• 3 cups of rice
• 1 can coconut milk.
• 1 tsp of ground turmeric
• 1 small onion
• Sea salt and black pepper, to taste
  

Rinse the rice.  Bring 2 cups of water and the cup of coconut milk to boil with the saffron and tumeric.  Add the rice and 3/4 tsp of salt, cover the pan and cook over low heat until liquid is absorbed and rice is done – about 20 minutes.  Stir in the chopped scallions before serving.

Black Beans

Ingredients:

• 1T  oil
• 2 green bell pepper, finely diced
• 2 small onion, finely diced
• 2 bay leaf
• 2/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 2 garlic clove, minced
• 1 tsp cumin
• Dash chile pepper
• 8 cups cooked black beans, with their juice.
• 1 can coconut milk
• Sea salt
• 4 limes, one juiced and one cut into wedges.

Start the rice. Heat the oil in a pot.  Add the pepper, onion, bay leaf, and cilantro and cook, stirring frequently, for about 5 minutes.

Add the garlic, cumin, and chile, then the beans and coconut milk.  Bring to a boil and simmer until hot.  

Season with salt and the juice of one lime.

Serve with avocado and mango on the side.  **Not optional- totally makes the dish!!**

Serves 8

Ladies Night Out and #tbt

There is nothing quite like a slice of apple pie and a perfect latte with a dear girlfriend after the kids have gone to bed.  In the midst of a ministry road-trip, in the middle of parenting challenges, in the third trimester of pregnancy- a woman just needs a Ladies Night Out. 

We are staying with my best friend from Uganda, who has now returned to her home in Canada.  And it has been just as sweet and easy of a friendship as it was in the beginning {read this post for #tbt}.  How good of Jesus to know just what we would need in Uganda and on this road-trip. 

Missionaries on furlough are real people with normal needs- needs like time with friends and a good dessert.  When you pray for missionaries on furlough this week- pray that Jesus would meet all their needs- not just their ministry needs, or financial needs, but also their relational needs.  How can I pray for you tonight?  Leave it in the comments!

Filling our Days...

So, we're filling our days with productivity and rest, goodbyes and memories... these are full and bittersweet days.  We've never felt quite so appreciated and loved, as we have this week.  Offers of help, farewells in our honor, muffins dropped off just because.  We're so very blessed. 

And we're packing.  We want to be mostly done today- so we can focus on just being present these last few days in Uganda.  Thank you for praying for us!  We need you to keep it up!  And please pray that we make our connecting flight in London on Wednesday- we only have one hour to get from gate to gate! 

Just wanted you to know that we're here- but we're staying quiet- really trying to live our lives and be present for each of these sweet moments.  We won't pass this way again.  

Solo Mama Weekend- Soli Deo Gloria

We've almost survived our 5 days without Daddy weekend!  The team is traveling home from Kenya today! I usually dread solo mama weeks- but this has been such a sweet weekend!  Glory to God alone!  He has been so near.  So, thank you to those who have been praying! 

counting the gifts.  He is a Good Giver.

• roses before he left
• safety as they traveled
• Cafe Roma- pizza, chai, trampoline, a good book
• Happy kids. Happy mama.
• Bread and Wine.  by Shauna Niequist.  like sitting down on the couch with a kindred spirit and swapping stories. and leaving changed.
• gorgeous night sky
• You smiling over me.
• impromptu play date
• playdough candy shop keeping kids happy for hours
• the smell and feel of the chocolate playdough. luxurious.
• donuts at Bean Cafe.  Happy Saturday!
• lunch date with a dear friend.  
• hidden gem of a restaurant. an oasis in the big city.
• uninterrupted conversation. flowing freely and happily.
• linguini in pesto sauce
• good bread and imported butter.
• Mmmmm... yes that is the name of the dessert.
• lingering in the parking lot because we could
• friendship. true and lasting. worth the pain of saying goodbye.

Tuesdays With the Ladies!

Last weekend, I had a lovely Oasis Gathering at my house.  It is such a privilege to host these women.  I started this gathering once a month, because I felt a need.  And the beautiful thing is, in the kingdom when you reach out to bless someone, Jesus meets your needs too.  I didn't realize how many missionary and international women just need a friend who understands them.  It has been sweet to open my home, drink coffee together, and pray over one another. 

If you find yourself feeling lonely this week- would you pray for missionary women around the world?  Chances are someone you're praying for is lonely too- be sure to say hi when you're on facebook, or drop them an e-mail and let them know they are not alone! 

Is there a need that you see that you can meet this week?  You'd be surprised how Jesus uses that to bless your own heart!

Community

When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When he stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When he stops praying, the devil shouts for joy. -Corrie ten Boom

 Oh, the devil must be stomping his feet in rage right now.  God is renewing a love for prayer, His word, and for His people in my heart!  Just this weekend I started a Good Morning Girls group, and today's passage is Colossians 1:1-4 where Paul shared that he always gave thanks for the church in Colosse when he prayed for them, and how he had heard about their love for all God's people.  Conviction!  Am I a praying person?  Is love for God's people one of the defining qualities of my life?  Am I faithfully in the Word? 

I started Oasis for other international women and we had 15 ladies at my house on Saturday morning for fellowship and prayer.  It was such a sweet time, and I am so grateful He is cultivating this community where I can belong.  And we had a few couples from Heritage over for pizza and wii, which was a blast!  He is bringing people into our lives to walk this path with us!  Praise Him! And I am continuing to read Godspeed, which is such a blessing and a challenge to truly love people into the kingdom. 

today I am grateful for the gifts of community:

6799.  the team here from Ireland
6800.  being a small part of the ministry they did
6801.  1200 children reached with the gospel
6802.  Your hand of comfort when we say goodbye

6803.  this lovely gathering of women
6804.  sharing our hearts
6805.  tea and fellowship- a comfort and a joy
6806.  knowing we are not alone.

6807.  new friends

 6808.  laughter over pizza
6809.  fun on a Saturday night

6810.  a new community of women
6811.  the treasure of Your word
6812.  we are Yours. in You and in each other. 

Tuesdays with the Ladies!

Last Monday I got a text message asking if I was coming to Arua with all the cool kids.  I hadn't even thought about traveling eight hours away from my guys for four days.  But I mentioned it to Josh and he said it would be good for me to go!  So, Saturday we piled into Lisa Fish's car and drove to Arua to see Meg and Joanna!  Happy road trip!  It was so good to connect with these sweet ladies.  And we were able to bring fun things to Arua for Meg and Joanna to encourage their hearts and fill their fridges :) 

It was a spontaneous thing to do.  I don't usually do "spontaneous".  But it was just what I needed. 

Sometimes you just need a couple days to pop your earbuds in and not worry if someone will cry for you in the night... or hold a sweet squishy baby and then give him back to his mama when he cries... or buy a dolman tee shirt at the market just because it's less than $2 and trendy...  or sit and read a book or two uninterrupted... or laugh with friends without having to explain the conversation to a four year old. 

When we start blessing others, we find ourselves blessed as well.  I love God's economy! 

Who can you bless with your presence this week?  

Tuesdays with Rachel

Family Movie Night with Rachel

Our very first VIA (Volunteer in Action) arrived yesterday!  Rachel Goss is a friend of ours from Delanco Camp.  We have a friend from home staying here with us!  What a happy day!  She will be here until we fly out to Florida in June.  What a gift! 

Rachel will be working at Heritage International School as a Teacher's Aid in fifth grade in the mornings, and helping with first grade in the afternoons.  She will also be helping with Sunday School at United Faith Church.  We're praying that God would use her, transform her, and clarify His calling on her life in these days. 

Rachel has just started a blog- so would you stop over and check it out?  It is interesting to see this place through the fresh eyes of a visitor. I'm sure you'll enjoy her stories of life in Uganda. 

If you are interested in coming to visit, or live here, check out www.gowgm.org!

Feast or Famine

Living in international community has it's joys and challenges.  Some weeks we settle into our routine, go about our ministries, tend to our families, and life goes on as usual with little excitement.  Then come weeks like this one with numerous airport runs, new people to see, dear friends to reunite with, and lots of fun extra events to look forward to!  My personality much prefers a "normal" routine; I live steady.  But it's fun to shake things up every now and then! 

Our colleagues, Billy and Joanna Coppege arrived last week.  Our Retreat Speakers, Regional Directors, Field Pastors and a Member Care rep from headquarters arrive this week.  A new family with WGM, Matt and Joy Burke arrived Monday.  They will be serving Jesus in Jinja with their two small children.  Such a flurry of guests arriving before Field Retreat next week!  Whew!  I'm exhausted just thinking about it- but I'm sure there will be some fabulous stories to be told and photos to be seen in the weeks to come!  Stay tuned!!

Tuesdays With...

visitors (or customers, as Seth calls them)!

international living.  there are so many "hellos" and "goodbyes".  people come and go so frequently.  but one of the sweet gifts Jesus gives is reunion!  this weekend we got to see one of my fellow volunteers from back in 2002!  Stew and I were Volunteers In Action (VIA) in the fall of 2002. 

Stew was here in Uganda on a short-term trip with his church outside the city, but was able to come out for dinner so we could catch up!  such a happy addition to our weekend!  it is neat introducing an old friend to my family.  the boys enjoyed showing "Mr Stew" their toys and DVDs.  and we enjoyed dinner at a local restaurant reminiscing about old times and funny stories.

we would love to introduce you to our lovely home and chat over dinner with you!  when are you coming to visit??  Click HERE to find out how you can volunteer with WGM or bring a team!

Tuesdays With...

Emily, me and Isabella- Dec 2011

life rushes by.  we long to have impact, to leave a legacy.  people come and go (and they really come and go quickly in university and international settings).  so we have to distill our message to essentials.  if i only have one semester with this person, what do i really want them to know?  what habits do i want to model and pass on?  there is pressure to make our meetings and conversations count.  but the good news is, they can go with God.  He isn't finished with them when they leave my circle of influence- I was simply privileged to be a small part of their story.

On Tuesdays With... we hope to focus on some of the people in our current circle of influence.  And we will have ceaseless resources as people come and go from this place! 

Meet Emily and Isabella- they were both in my small group from KIU last semester.  Emily graduated and moved on.  Isabella is taking on leadership of the group this semester.  Wednesdays at 5pm finds me on the campus of KIU in a dorm room, sharing tea or juice with this sweet group of ladies.  We open the word, we laugh, we pray.  And I get to pass on what God has taught me!  We spent last semester finding out what it means to be a Lady in Waiting, and working on being the right person- not finding Mr Right!  This semester we're going to learn what it means to be Completely Irresistible- not to the opposite sex- but to a lost and dying world! 

There are always people ahead of us on the journey to learn from, always people in our same stage of life to relate with and always people behind us whom we are to teach!  Who is pouring into your life?  Who's life are you pouring into?  Who really gets you, right where you are?  If your life is lacking one of these important roles, will you take steps to change that? 

Tell us about someone in your life who has mentored you, or whom you have mentored.  How did their presence in your life change you? 

the gift of famliar...

there are days when i can almost forget we're in Africa.  and other days when it's glaringly obvious.  the traffic.  the stench of burning trash.  the tropical birds (who needs an alarm clock?).  the loud parties blasting Celine Dion late into the night.  the heat. in December.

And so it was such a gift last week to gather with a few other families (and tons of kids) to drink wassail, eat Christmas cookies, and make ornaments together.  it felt normal.  and normal is so good sometimes.

Counting the gifts of the familiar, and the uncomfortable this week:

#5215.  making cookies with my little man.
#5216.  my mom's recipe, a taste of home
#5217.  letting him do it himself, going at his pace.
#5218.  joy in just being together

#5219.  food.  more than enough.  even though it brings the ants.

#5220.  packages from home
#5221.  birthday celebrations extending for weeks
#5222.  love from Grammy and Poppy, and from our champions!

#5223.  first set of LEGOs!
#5224.  seeing my men "work together and figure it out!"
#5225.  joy leaping into my throat
#5226.  this passage into boyhood

#5227.  little boys not too big for crafts yet!
#5228.  Christmas carols playing, mamas chatting, kids crafting
#5229.  a mug of wassail in my hand- "Christmas in a cup!" (recipe below)
#5230.  the joy of opening our home, and giving other families a taste of familiar.

#5231.  You, our true home
#5232.  You, our common bond across continents and cultures
#5233.  You, the reason we celebrate!

#5234.  You, who help me see the glitter in the midst of the mess
#5235.  You, who take the scraps of life and make something beautiful.

Winter Wassail Recipe 
(Or Christmas in a Cup)

Mix in a crockpot (on low):
18 oz. pineapple juice
8 oz. lemon juice
32 oz. orange juice
32 oz. cranberry juice
1 quart water

Simmer on the stove:
1 quart boiling water
5 decaf tea bags
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp cloves
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

Once the tea and spices have steeped, strain and pour into the crockpot mixture.  Simmer and serve!   Enjoy!

A tale of two girls

two girls.
three countries.
5 months.
two hills.
four little boys.
two amazing men. 
one incredible story of God's goodness.

It all started with a blog comment... how we're both moving to Kampala... how we both have two little boys... a few e-mails later... she's from Canada, we're from the States, we're all heading to Uganda... we fly to Kampala...

 then we find out they're moving to a neighborhood all the way across town....  I can see her hill from my hill... they fly to Kampala... and we find out the drive only takes 30 minutes. 

and here we are. in the same city. in the same season of life. with A LOT in common.  I won't go into detail. You would laugh. And perhaps you wouldn't believe me.  But from 10am-3pm we chatted, and played with our kids, and generally refreshed each others spirits.  So grateful. 

  "Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends." - Mary Catherwood 

So thankful for a new "old friend".  God is too good to us.