Gratitude By the Numbers

the shores of Lake Michigan

...thus far the Lord has helped us.  We have been on the road for almost 6 weeks.  And we are grateful for the ways He has kept us! 

So here is our gratitude by the numbers... literally counting His gifts!
 






41 days on the road.
4,133 miles of safety on the road.
12 different homes/beds.

One of many beds we've slept in

147 cups of coffee.

2 hayrides
11 formal speaking engagements.
2 university campuses.
4 Great Lakes.
2 state parks.
2 countries (US and Canada)
6 states (PA, MI, OH, KY, WV, NJ)
38 rest stops.
9 playgrounds
countless meals shared around the table.
endless grace poured out on us.
lots of warm welcome.
His abiding presence.

 

Staying Married on the Road

Date Night: thanks, Andrea!

Well, October is over... but this series isn't.  I have a few more topics I want to make sure I cover- even though it's been more than 31 days! When you are on Homeland Ministry Assignment you often need to take a roadtrip and visit families and churches who support you. These are often fun and encouraging- but they can get tiresome. How do you and your spouse stay connected while you're on the road??

Here a few things that help us stay connected on the road!

• When someone offers you a date night- say "yes!" and "thank you!".  We had a great night out while we were at Ohio Christian University- the director of the WGM Student Center offered to keep our boys so we could go out alone.  It was a sweet time of delicious food and happy, uninterrupted conversation!  And tonight, my college roommate is keeping our boys so we can go on date #2 this road trip!
• If you can't find a babysitter- just buy a rare, luxurious treat to share after the kids are in bed with decaf coffee and your favorite movie!
• Talk.  Period.  Things on the road can get stressful.  You may want to clam up and just press through- but it's best for everyone to talk it out!  
• Have an "I need" conversation.  If things are piling up and you're feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, tell your spouse what you need.  They can't read your mind!  And then ask them what they need.  Come up with a plan to make it happen!
• If you aren't sharing a room with your kids- take advantage. Enough said. 
• Just be kind.  Think of things that make your spouse happy and do them.  
• Make sure you kiss each other decently every day.  
• Pray together as a couple.  Even if it's just a quick prayer at bedtime- it's a point of connection with your spouse and your God.  That's always the best combination!

Enjoy this season.  Lean on each other.  And know that you will be back at home-base soon enough!

Tips for Traveling while Pregnant

Sorry for the silence- we've been in and out of internet service this weekend- such is life on the road!

Back to our 31 Days on the Road series! 

As I type, we've been on the road for 4 weeks and I am 30 weeks pregnant.

Tip #1:  Get moving!  When I left my midwife told me to get out of the car and move after every 2 hours of driving to get the blood flowing and prevent blood clots.  That automatically adds at least an hour of travel to every leg of our journey! Generally, someone needs a bathroom break every two hours so that hasn't been too difficult. 

Tip #2: Snack healthy!  We usually carry cheese sticks, peanut butter crackers, grapes, and apples.  Sip on water- I know you don't want to stop for the bathroom every ten minutes, but if you sip every now and then you'll keep your body and baby healthier.

Tip #3:  Rest when you can!  If someone offers you a nap, say "yes, thank you." You aren't going to be sleeping well in a different bed every few nights.  You will be uncomfortable and have to pee often through the night as you catch up on your water intake.   On Sunday we were at lunch and our sweet hostess said there was a spare room if I needed a nap.  So I set an alarm and laid down for 30 minutes.  It was a sweet gift!  And I felt better, and didn't miss too much conversation. 

Tip #4:  Listen to your body!   We have done a few hikes, and hayrides on this road trip.  I've had a several braxton hicks contractions, and I know when I have pushed my body too far.  If you're going to be hiking- wear good shoes, take it slow, and don't keep pushing if you just need to stop and breathe. 

This is all common sense advice, but it is better to be safe than sorry.  Enjoy this season and know that traveling pregnant is way easier than traveling with baby- though I know we'll do that too!

Weekend Links: Travel and MKs

Here are some great links on traveling with kids and insights into missionary life on Homeland Ministry Assignment.

My pinterest board: travel with kids

What Missionary Kids Wish Churches Knew.

Tips for Missionaries on the Road (and how to live economically on the road!)

What it's like to be a Missionary Kid

Use What You Have: Great perspective from Scott and Meg Rambo!

Snapshot

Ladies Night Out and #tbt

There is nothing quite like a slice of apple pie and a perfect latte with a dear girlfriend after the kids have gone to bed.  In the midst of a ministry road-trip, in the middle of parenting challenges, in the third trimester of pregnancy- a woman just needs a Ladies Night Out. 

We are staying with my best friend from Uganda, who has now returned to her home in Canada.  And it has been just as sweet and easy of a friendship as it was in the beginning {read this post for #tbt}.  How good of Jesus to know just what we would need in Uganda and on this road-trip. 

Missionaries on furlough are real people with normal needs- needs like time with friends and a good dessert.  When you pray for missionaries on furlough this week- pray that Jesus would meet all their needs- not just their ministry needs, or financial needs, but also their relational needs.  How can I pray for you tonight?  Leave it in the comments!

Parenting on the Road: Part 2

Writing is so helpful to me!  It's how I process life, so as we wrestle with how best to parent our kids on the road, I'm going to share my thoughts in the midst of this parenting challenge.  I am not an expert, and these are not all "tried and true" tips- this is me learning as we go and sharing our ideas.  Please leave your own "tried and true" tips in the comments section!  We need them!

First let me explain a bit more what I mean when I said sympathy in parenting yesterday: It does not mean telling a kid it's okay to sin or be disobedient.  This isn't permissive parenting.  Sympathy in parenting means taking a moment to try and understand why a child might be acting the way he is, to see his heart through his actions, and to come alongside him with an intention to walk with him toward the right path. 

When Josh and I stood in the kitchen and just shook our heads and asked each other "What do we do with him?" the first thing that came to mind was PRAY!  We've got to be praying for our kids daily, praying that God would be at work in their hearts, praying for wisdom to parent them well, praying for grace and strength to do what the Lord asks of us as parents and praying for supernatural insight into our children's hearts.

The next thing that we did was brainstorm all the possible things that could be bothering him and/or contributing to his bad attitude.  We also need to ask him if there is anything bothering him, and really listen to his answer.  But there are times when our kids don't know or don't have words to communicate what is going on their hearts.  So we started tossing out ideas: too much family time, too much time in stores, too much screen time, too much vacation treats, too much transition, missing Uganda, missing New Jersey, too much people time, too little routine, maybe he is coming down with a cold... no wonder our kids are feeling out of sorts!

Then we come up with a plan to meet his real needs, not his whims and fancies- we don't want to nurture an attitude of entitlement or perpetuate the inclination towards self-centeredness. We do want to do all we can to help feel loved and cared for.  We do want to set forth our expectations for godly living.  So, we tell stories about a boy who wants fame and riches, but in the end comes to his senses and returns home (see Luke 15).  We work on Scripture verses about being content.  We begin to cut back on sweets and screen time, and redouble our efforts to intentionally engage the boys in healthy, fun activities.  It takes a lot of effort on our part.  This parenting thing isn't easily dismissed with a "Be quiet and do what I say" which only pushes his heart farther from us. 

The bottom line is: I want my children to know that I am for them.  I want them to grow to love the good path of the Lord and walk it with joy.  And I want them to make a difference for the kingdom because they are wholly His!

Pray for us as we continue our road-trip and continue to parent on the road.  We drive from Michigan to Ontario, Canada today to see precious friends we met in Uganda!  This visit is such a love gift from Jesus!  We head to our next ministry stop on Saturday in Pennsylvania. 

Parenting on the Road

I would love to say that this is the norm in our car: two happy boys hanging out in the backseat, everyone getting along, perfectly timed bathroom breaks and no tension or bad attitudes. 

This is not the case. 

No one is perfect.  In fact, road-trips have this way of turning into a pressure cooker of family refining... everyone locked in the car... no place to escape... I must stay present and smooth out the rough places. 

C. has been having a rough weekend.  Nothing ever seems quite enough.  Always something missing,  then his life will be complete.  But that elusive something never satisfies.  Such a poignant picture for me.  "This is the worst day ever", even when we've spent two hours at Crazy Bounce, but come home and his one coloring page isn't perfect.  Glossing over all the good and fixating on the one imperfection.  And this gratitude-breathing mama cringes and reels.  How can I get him to see that his ingratitude is toxic... slowing killing his little soul?  How can I reach his heart, especially when I don't even want to be around him when he's like this?

Josh and I are reading Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson and while I'm quickly moving through to chapter eleven... I already feel the  need to go back to chapter five: Sympathy vs. Strictness.  In that chapter he talks about putting a face of sympathy on our discipline:

"When we put a face of sympathy on our directive discipline, it turns our children toward us and makes them want to follow our lead.  If all your children see is a stern face of demands and rules, or the frowning face of an adversarial parent, they will not be drawn to that face.  If that is the face you saw when you looked to God, would you want to follow?  A face of sympathy opens a child's heart and draws them to follow you." -Clay Clarkson, Heartfelt Discipline.

When I reach out to C. in sympathy, trying to understand what is going on in his heart, instead of just demanding a right attitude, I show him I care, and I gently lead him to see the better way.  I don't always do this perfectly.  He doesn't always welcome my advances.  But I believe as we continue to seek the Lord's wisdom, extend grace and sympathy, and hold out the standard of
God's ways of holy living we will get to the place God intends for us all!

More thoughts soon on Parenting on the Road!

Thankful by Caleb

We've been having a tough time with C. this week.  Nothing we do seems to be enough.  He is constantly focused on what he doesn't have.  We've talked about it.  Prayed about it.  Read about it.  And hope to share some of the parenting lessons we're learning on the road later today... but for yesterday's gratitude post (sorry its late!) I wanted to share Caleb's prayer at dinner last night.  It gives me hope that what we're doing is making a difference at least for one day!

"Dear Jesus, thank you for the Air Zoo, for a new coloring book, for Mickey Mouse pancakes, for space food, and for such an awesome day.  Amen. Oh, and bless the food.  Amen."

Taking the Missionary Hat Off

One of the refreshing things about vacation is the sweet gift of anonymity.  We went to a large church here in Holland, MI today.  Josh wore jeans.  We left our WGM name-tags in the car.  We didn't set up our display table.  I didn't carry a stack of prayer cards in my purse.  We enjoyed worship.  We sat under great teaching.  And we left. 

Tunnel Park, Holland, MI

We had a late breakfast.  The boys watched TV.  I took a nap.  And then we went off to explore some of God's handiwork in nature!  It all felt so normal.  And good.  Don't get me wrong, we love our calling.  And there isn't anything wrong with Homeland Ministry Assignment.  It's just nice to be off the clock for the week. 

Fall in America

We are totally enjoying filling our fall bucket list!  Hayrides. Pumpkin carving. Watching the leaves.  It's been so fun doing all these autumnal rituals with these boys who won't see fall again for four years!  I'm sad for our baby girl who will have no idea what seasons are in the North American sense... her idea of seasons will be rainy or dry.  But then we get the fun of introducing her to all the amazing seasons when she is four! 

This road trip was perfectly timed to enjoy all these fun fall things, in the midst of crazy ministry among our champions and churches!  It will definitely be a trip we will never forget!  If you missed the link to our Autumn Bucket List it's here!

Divine Appointments on the Road

I am at Come to the Fire this weekend basking in sweet worship of our God and celebrating the freedom we have in Jesus!  One of the biggest blessings has been the times of prayer with my sisters in Christ.  The privilege of praying over a dear sister who you have been walking with since July and the gift of asking someone to pray for you who met you when you were in high school... I've experienced both and my heart sings with joy at how much the Father loves us!  How precious it was to be lifted to the throne of the Father by one who is living the missionary life in Mexico and knows the challenges and joys of this path!

It's also been awesome reconnecting with all my lovely World Gospel Mission co-workers- Beth Muehleisen, Holly Muehleisen, Chrissy Greenwell and Eszti Landerholm!  These precious women serve Jesus in Uganda, Japan, Mexico, and Hungary- four corners of the world all getting fed from the word of God this weekend!  We're grateful!  And it was neat to share dinner with a new {to me} friend who has known Josh forever and discuss ways for her to get connected to what God is doing in Uganda.  Love having God-sized conversations about His kingdom work!

Jesus has been doing so much good stuff in my heart since July, and this weekend He hasn't revealed anything new or shocking... but I have sensed His smile and have celebrated the freedom He is bringing!  What a privilege to know Him more and more!

If you've missed out on the Come to the Fire conference this year- you can still watch the recordings "on demand" HERE.  And you can put it on your calendar for next year: October 2-4, 2014 in Grove City, Ohio!

Vacation... and #tbt link

At the beginning of this series I said that not all of furlough is fun and games and vacation... and that is true.  But there is certainly wisdom in missionaries taking a vacation. 

Constant visitation with champions, a new church every weekend, staying in touch with faithful champions and cultivating new champions can be exhausting for a family!  There are days when we never take our "missionary hats" off.  And so as we were planning this road trip we knew we would have to schedule rest, or it simply would not happen. 
 

Trough Creek State Park, PA

Our boys are great travelers, our marriage is solid and this pregnancy has gone smoothly- but we don't take those things for granted.  We have to work at them, and we have to protect them!  So we're on vacation in Michigan.  I hope to sneak in some more time to blog- to finish out this 31 Day challenge strong- but I am making my family top priority this week! 

Do you take a family vacation?  We didn't really vacation much when I was growing up.  But Josh and I have made the commitment to set some rest time aside each year.  We want to serve the Lord well and as long as we're able- so we're trying to find ways to increase our ministry sustainability! 

Maybe you don't have time or resources to take a vacation right now- this is a great post on "Keeping Sabbath Rest in our Daily Lives".   

What do you do to rest and recharge?

And if you're missing the ThrowBack Thursday post here's one about how we recharge in Uganda!

Snapshot from the Road

Lessons in Simplicity

There is something beautiful in the simplicity of travel.   You do not pack everything you own.  You pare down what clothes you will wear over and over again for six-weeks.  You leave your kitchen utensils at home.  You pack your favorite snacks, not your entire spice cabinet. You let the children pack one backpack each.  This is no unlimited toy box from which to draw.  

Your accommodations vary from a single bedroom in a house full of people and things to an entire empty house with the bare essentials provided for your stay. 

We are slowly learning to say with Paul, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” –Philippians 4:12-14

And the learning has been sweet.  Today Josh learned how to cook an entire breakfast with a fork and frying pan.  The boys have retreated into their imaginary world with only some music and a blanket for props.   I am sitting on the one couch enjoying a novel on my Kindle- there is no TV, internet or cell service.  We have played games together, read books, and had a dance party. 

The physical simplicity is bringing simplicity to my heart- the bare walls and quiet days are allowing my soul to breathe again.  I have more time for prayer.  We can enjoy lengthy lunch dates with champions and prayer meetings with supporting churches and be fully present.  There is nothing to rush home for- we are here for them.  And it is lovely. 

Stay tuned later in the series for the other side of this lesson- abounding in the midst of busyness and people! 

Grateful

We left Pennsylvania today with thankful hearts- we have been warmly welcomed and hosted.  We have eaten lots of good food, and enjoyed many autumn festivities like bonfires and hayrides.  We have met new people, and reconnected with others.  Jesus is building and strengthening our team! 

And so we count on:

7455.  a sweet gift from a 13 year old- $3.33

7456.  watching this man preach- it never gets old

7457.  interesting field trip to the fish hatchery

7458.  little boys learning a new game

7459.  fog covered mountains

7460.  Your presence going before us

7461.  a table and chairs. a couch and a chair. 3 beds. enough.

7462.  a delicious cheese burger and sweet potato fries

7463.  hot apple cider on a rainy day.

7464.  sweater weather.

7465.  being out of reach of social media

7466.  helping to carry a pastor’s burdens

7467.  homemade sour cherry jam

7468.  family devotions. even with cranky kids.

7469.  him- leading our family well

7470.  little miss kicking up a storm

7471.  big brother kisses to my belly

7472.  Your word of peace

7473.  how You walk this road with us

7474.  how You provide for all our needs

7475.  Your people hosting us graciously

7476.  a gorgeous fall hike
7477.  a perfect stretch before getting in the car
7478.  Your handiwork

7479.  adventure

7480.  little boys and a good daddy

7481.  learning to trust

7482.  You love them more than I do

Praying for MKs

our boys making a new friend at church

If you missed it in the latest edition of the Call magazine, they have a great list of How to Pray for Missionary Kids! 

Get it HERE! 

We are so grateful for the men, women, and children who pray for our kids!  It can be tough enough living out of suitcase as an adult, but the travel and people time also wears on our little people!  Thank you for your prayers for our kids!

Welcome.

It has been such a gift to return to the U.S. as career missionaries with our first term under our belts.  Our first Homeland Assignment was lengthy and challenging.  The difference is almost palpable. We feel so welcome!  We haven't had to beg a church to host us, in fact, our schedule was almost full when we landed on U.S. soil!

This six-week tour is all about re-connecting.  And it has been sweet to see familiar faces and sit in familiar pews.  And it has been fun telling stories about our time in Uganda, and hearing what the Lord is doing in local churches.  We have enjoyed meals, played board games, and worshiped with the Body of Christ.  And this is only the second week! 

How to Make a Missionary Feel Welcome:

• Set aside room for them- even if it's just one room.  It is nice to feel like you have "your own space" while you're on the road.  It doesn't have to be spacious or luxurious.  Just a little bit private.  
• Ask about food allergies and/or preferences.  Most missionaries are pretty flexible and will eat whatever you give them.  But when traveling with kids it's always a nice surprise for them to arrive at a house with their favorite snack on hand. 
• Greet them in church- ask how they are doing and listen for the answer. 
• Tell them if you have been keeping up with them online or through their newsletter.  It's nice to know that what they have been publishing is actually being read!  
• Sit by them at the luncheon.  Not every missionary is an extrovert!  It is nice when church members make the effort and take a seat nearby once in awhile.  
• Invite them over for coffee if they are in the area for awhile. 
• Offer to show them around if they are new to the area.  

Some ways other missionaries have felt warmly welcomed:

• Getting hugs
• People saying they pray for us every day
• Showing interest in what we do
• Someone asking "What can I do?"
• A lady giving me $5 to help where needed.
• People signing up to be part of Uganda's Prayer Wall

Autumn Bucket List! #tbt

The beauty of Uganda is that we live in the land of eternal summer.  The challenge of Uganda is that we live in the land of eternal summer.  When September rolls around and it's still warm in Uganda... I start roasting pumpkins, and making my DIY Pumpkin Spice syrup... Check out this post on how we celebrate Thanksgiving in Uganda, since it is throwback Thursday!  #tbt

All that to say: I love that we are traveling in the fall!  The colors are so pretty!  The flavors are so warm and delicious!  I printed out THIS FREE Printable Autumn Bucket List to make sure we don't miss out on any of the fall fun! 

There are 101 ideas.  Some of them we won't be able to make happen since we are on the road, others are Christmas prep that we won't get to until we get home in November- but it is a great starting point! 

We've already got a few things checked off our list:

• Make s'mores.
• Take a nature hike.
• Go to the park.
• Play in the leaves.

What's on your fall bucket list? Anything we MUST do while we're in America for the fall?  Leave a comment!

Food Tips for the Road

Boys eating a treat at YoGo Frozen Yogurt Factory!

It is very tempting while living in the "land of plenty" to take full advantage of the fast food and convenience of eating in America.  But I love the whole foods we eat in Uganda!  I feel better when I'm not filling myself with processed food products. 

So what's a girl to do on the road when small children beg to stop at McDonald's every time we enter the highway? 

I am not a nutrition expert.  And I do enjoy my share of peanut butter m&ms.  This is not medical advice, and these aren't all my own original ideas.  I've listed some great posts at the bottom for you to check out! 

I don't know where you fall on the healthy food continuum- but this is what works for our family.  It's our healthy compromise for happy travelers! 

In our snack bag this week:

• peanut butter crackers
• twizzler bites (for a happy driver)
• peanut butter m&ms (for happy mama and good kids)
• grapes
• frozen cheese sticks (so they don't get mushy in the cooler)
• peanut butter
• jelly
• loaf of whole wheat bread
• Berry Kix
• Lara Bars (for this pregnant mama)

Great Travel Food Posts:

•  Real Food Top 10 Travel Tips
•  Health Eating While Traveling (23 page .pdf) by the College of Physicians of Philadelphia
•  Car Crumb Explosion- list of healthy ideas
•  Healthy Food Ideas
•  Individual Variety Snack Bags