Tuesday, October 16, 2007

At wits' end...

“They reel to and fro… and are at their wits’ end. Then they cry out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brings them out of their distresses. He calms the storm, so that it’s waves are still. Then they are glad because they are quiet; so He guides them to their desired haven. Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness!” –Psalm 107:27-31

True Confessions. I am not good at being weak and needy. I am much more comfortable playing the strong and “put together” role in life. But I’ve done that in my own strength for so long it’s catching up with me. The superwoman I pretend to be is dead; I think I should have a funeral for her! Anyway, this weekend I reached my wits’ end… sunk to an all-time low. Anytime Josh would ask me how I was doing I would tear up. And I couldn’t even get excited about the cute things Caleb was doing. And I didn’t know what to do with the sadness of soul and bone weariness I have been accumulating. So Monday came, and I didn’t know if I could even come to work. I forced myself, but left work early to have a good cry and take a nap. I needed to figure out my life and why I’m so stressed. I don’t need to list it all here, I’m sure you can imagine all the things sucking me dry. So I am on my knees crying out to the Lord for Him to bring me out of my distresses. And this morning as I read those verses, He gave me a glimmer of hope! I’m certainly not my usual cheery self, but there is hope that I will survive today, and be glad once again. So, all that to say, if you ask me how I’m doing and I smile and say “ok” though my eyes are filling with tears…. you’ll know why. And gratefully, I am pruning some of my obligations in hopes of having more time with my family and for myself. Thanks for your prayers and your support! If anyone else is at their wits’ end- know that you can cry out to the Lord in your trouble… He has the power to calm the storms in our lives! And we can give thanks for His goodness even when we don’t feel like it!

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