Saturday, January 31, 2009

No one is safe!

So everyone is pretty miserable here at the Hallahan's! We have had fevers and racking coughs- Josh was officially diagnosed with asthmatic bronchitis- which we found out after he passed out in our kitchen on Friday morning. He was taken to the ER- but his xray and CAT scan were clean, so he was home by 1pm. It was just one of those freak things that made me wrestle with my God- but cling to Him all the more!

As I continue learning how to pray I am struck by how difficult prayer is for me. Wrestling is hard. Circumstances like my husband fainting in the kitchen aren't on my agenda! I like things to be neat, organized, and measurable. Relationships are messy and fluid- which is why I'm not very good at them- making this school of prayer very difficult! I love to read the Bible- I can have a reading plan, I can digest a verse and journal about it, I can check off which chapters I've read and I feel accomplished. In prayer I sit and wait... I speak and listen... I offer up my heart to God... but I can't measure transformation... I can't plan where the Spirit will lead... I can't schedule how long it will take for Him to get me there! And at that place of utter dependence and waiting- I find this tiny glimmer of freedom! I don't have to make prayer work. I don't have to know where it will end up. Just like I can't plan when I will be fully recovered from this illness. I am at the mercy of the germs... but in that abandon, there is freedom to wait and freedom to heal!

Viruses have a way of taking everything out of you- and while it's easy to say "Just get some rest" it's a different story when there are three other sick ones to tend to! I am sure I will be sick the longest, simply because I can't rest like I need to. But in the misery of being cooped up together, there is also joy in leaning on one another, which strengthens the bond of family! I am grateful that Josh has recovered and is now helping me return to health! And as I recover I will try and just be!
-Kelly

1 comment:

  1. Hey Kelly & Josh...I just wanted to drop a line to let you know that even though you're all probably in the recovery process already, I'm praying for you all. I came back from Thailand with asthmatic bronchitis and know that it is certainly no fun! However, we are blessed to be in a country with great medical care and it was only a few weeks (after about 2 months of horrible sickness) after seeing the doctor that I was feeling so much better. I know I'm a little late in commenting on this post but I hope that the Hallahan household has found healing. As our families prepare to head off across the world, I'm reminded that our God is good and we can take great comfort our country's advancement in medicine! Praying for you, Josh, and the rest of your family!

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