Wednesday, August 08, 2018
up to my neck...
this summer has been a slow simmer. we've had a few friends to play with. some activities planned, but no travel. lots of downtime. and the countless days of life on life- humanity scraping against humanity- have worn me down.
I am excited about the new school year- we've already fed some new teachers and we are going to be hosting one for the first month of school. I've got talks to plan, devotions to prepare, Sabbath stations to set up for retreat, dinners to cook, and very little margin left to work with- because I've spent so much time and energy meeting my kids' social needs this summer.
that sneaking feeling of overwhelm begins to rise in my chest. as I look at my to do list and compare it to the hours available in a given day... the columns don't balance. I'm up to my neck. and I take a deep breath.
O N E. This is my year of one. I can only love one person at a time. I can truly do only one thing at a time. Just the next right thing. It takes some pressure off. And then I realize He can show me which next thing- it is deeper relief still.
I haven't really been abiding well lately. I haven't strayed- I've just been depriving myself of all the power I have access to on the daily. "One thing is necessary, Mary has chosen that good part..." I've been walking in my own strength, missing that one thing. and it's catching up with me. so instead of writing a talk on Spiritual Health tonight- I'm gonna do my own diagnosis- take my own medicine and pray He uses me tomorrow.
How are you feeling at the start of a fresh school year?