Saturday, November 03, 2007

Life is messy!

So today while I was baking cookies, Caleb decided he wanted to play too! This is him in a pile of corn starch, happily playing in his mess. And I wondered why he doesn't mind the mess. As adults we try to avoid messes like the plague, it is our job to clean up, and it's easier to clean as we go. We are very rational about it all.

But Caleb didn't mind one bit. He thought that corn starch was the coolest thing he had ever seen, and the mess was inconsequential.

I like to hide the fact that my inner life is a huge mess. Take a quick glance at me, with my big smile, happy family and convenient job two houses down... and you'd never suspect that I am unhappy or struggling. This is not a cry for help- this is acknowledgment that life is messy- and that isn't necessarily a bad thing! It's definitely freeing to live messy. No image to uphold, or damage control to do.... no people to please, and no one to disappoint. I'm glad God likes me a mess... He's happy to pick me up and dust me off... touch the broken places... and make me whole ... not necessarily clean- but whole... and His. There is nowhere else I'd rather be.

I'm reading an amazing book called, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero. His third step to emotionally healthy spirituality is to embrace the "dark night of the soul"... to not just hit the "wall" in your spiritual life- but actually go through the wall and emerge on the other side changed, and whole. Check it out. I've read a lot of books, and this is one I can honestly say every Christian needs to read! I'll share more about it later! Blessings.

1 comment:

  1. Dear sweet sweet friend, I will pray that God fills you up to overflowing. I'm sorry you are so weary but I can see why. YOu are beautiful and your family is precious. I love ya!
    Heather

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